My 'Ah-ha'

I have been dealing with the fact that we are quickly approaching the age at which we will need to begin the process of taking the bottle away from Keaton….

This entire process seems to bother me much more than it ever did with Brodie.
I think that with our first child I was so caught up in doing everything by the book rather than doing what I felt was right for the child, and that makes me a bit sad.
 As I write this post I wonder, do many first time parents do things “by the book” to later realize after having another child or two that the books and the so-called professionals that write them are not always correct.  I mean seriously how can someone whom has never met myself or my child possibly be able to tell me what the best course of action is for my child? I wish I would have realized this with our first child much sooner and wish I wouldn't have been as concerned with how the professionals say to handle situations, or when the next big milestone (taking the bottle away) should happen and just went with my gut rather than the book.

You know how Oprah talks about “ah-ha” moments, I truly had one the other night while I was at the end of my nightly breathing-treatment/bottle feeding/goodnight cuddle fest with Keaton,  as I sat there with my precious 14month old baby in my arms worrying myself over taking the bottle away from him and trying not to make the comparison to our older child, by the time Brodie was 14months the bottle was long gone, because after all that is what the books say is best, but I just don’t feel that it is the right time yet and I refuse to make decisions based on what I feel the expectations/norms are based on a book or so-called professionals opinion is. The ‘ah-ha’ part was that I was truly okay with the realization that it was going to be our (Kyle and myself) decision as to when to begin the process and that no other outside input or influence was going to force our hand in the decision this time.

I think or at least hope that I will have another “ah-ha” moment and just realize when it is time to take the bottle away, which by the way if you know me is not a norm for me I am not a fly by the seat of your pants, go with the flow, spontaneous type, I am the list maker, schedule follower control freak who normally has a detailed plan for most things in our house/lives, don’t believe me take a look at the front of my refrigerator the next time you are over, or ask one of my friends they will tell you. 

So here is the other side of the coin, am I not taking it from him because it is easier on me??? Let me clarify this a bit when I say ‘easier on me’ I don’t mean the crying, fit-throwing part I mean the emotional part, although the crying fit-throwing can eventually take an emotional toll. The thought of it being easier on me would seem much more logical if this was our last baby and I wanted to hold onto the last morsel of baby that we would have in the house but since we are planning on having one more I am pretty sure that is not the issue.  So my friends here is where my crazy brain goes into overdrive and I WAY over analyze things…
Is the reason that I am having such issues pulling the bottle away from Keaton because my body/my mind/God are trying to tell me that I won’t be able to get pregnant as easily as I did with the first two or will I not be able to get pregnant at all?  Do you see what I deal with inside of my brain? I realize that the thoughts are just thoughts and I have to let them go, but every once in awhile they creep in and burrow themselves into my mind and hang out for a bit, just a bit of insight into the crazy world between my ears.

One other thing, can I tell you that I HATE the term ‘take the bottle away’, it just sounds plain awful and mean.

Well my friends this is where this post is going to end, for now at least because I am not sure what else I can say other than the books/websites/blogs etc are not the parent of your child, and the authors of those books/websites/blogs etc have never met your child(ren), you must do what you believe in your heart and mind is the best thing for your child(ren), you are after all their parent and know them much better than anyone else.

**Please do not read anything into this post as I am totally against child abuse, neglect or just plain lazy parenting, obviously I do not believe in beating a child, withholding food, intentional unnecessary embarrassment, or ridiculing a child in public or private just because you are upset with them or the situation.  I just want to be clear that some professional advice/opinion is very important and should be followed and abided by. Just my little disclaimer to cover my rear.**

Until next time.....