A look back

As we have made our way through these last few months and I have seen how Brodie has changed from this time last year and the fact that we are closing in on two days before Keaton’s first birthday it seems like a good time to reflect on the past year and what is still ahead of us and how quickly the last 4yrs since I became a mommy has flown by.  Prime example, Kyle and I were out shopping just a few days ago and as we were chatting about nothing inparticular, we touched upon the subject of enrolling Brodie in kindergarten and Kyle said, “but that is not for another 2years” and that is when it hit me that oh my gosh 2years is the equivalent of tomorrow when you are talking about your children growing up.  For those who do not have children or are just entering into this arena of life you might not understand this but for those of us who do have children it is a heart wrenching ache that nothing can squish.  Now let me also mention that this is not the first time that this has ‘hit’ me, I think about this horrible subject quite often and can honestly make myself almost physically ill if I allow myself to ponder on it for too long.  I often look at pictures on Facebook and just happened to be looking at pictures of this time last year when Brodie came up to the hospital to visit Keaton and I after he was born.  Brodie looks like a baby in some of those pictures especially when you place them next to his most recent pictures we just had taken, this breaks my heart. I know that for many this doesn’t affect them but as I write this post I am sitting here with tears forming in my eyes because I feel as if I have wasted so much time with both boys already…..
It doesn’t sit well with me to think about having my children move out when they are 18 or at any age , I say all the time that I never want my kids to move out, I understand that I may be singing a different tune when they are 16, but I am sure they will still hold the key to my heart at age 16 and that just like now when they argue, fuss and fight we will get past it and move on and at the end of the day when I force them to give me a hug and  a kiss goodnight I will still tell them they are never moving out and that mommy loves them 34 (a Leavenworth Whelpley thing), seriously people I am practically crying at this very moment.   
Okay, so onto some very precious pictures to look back at the past 4yrs…..



Brodie 2yrs

Brodie 6mo



Brodie 1yr





Brodie and Keaton 3yrs and newborn

Keaton newborn

 

Keaton 6mo
 

Brodie 4yrs

Keaton 1yr